Introvert just a walkin’ down the street, singin’ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy….who is that person on the sidewalk there? Better turn down my music. God forbid some one hear what I’m listening to. What will they think of me? The world as I know it is ending. Oh Shit! There is another pedestrian…head down, don’t make eye contact…maybe they won’t notice that I am here. You know what they say… introverts make the best ninjas. J/K No one says that. Ah yes, social anxiety at its finest. If you don’t know what I am talking about, thank fucking Christ, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. If you do know what I am talking about, know that you are not alone. I can’t even walk down the damn street without second guessing myself. Houston, we have a problem… Life is hard, but let’s think this through.
I know it’s hard in the moment, but let’s try to keep a few things in mind.
Really, odds are, no one cares…at all. They don’t even notice you anyway…don’t worry about them.
What is the worst that could happen?
It’s not as if your one true love is going to walk by and dis you for your poor taste in music.
So, some weirdo does have something to say about your music…
So what? Big deal. If you walk by and someone judges you for what you are listening to/wearing/whatever…that person is probably not a person you want in your life anyway.
It’s clear we have some irrational fears to work on. Baby steps…baby steps. So, I found this meet-up group called Comfort Zone Crushers that I’m going to try out. It’s supposed to help you get out of your comfort zone, obviously. We will see how that goes. I will let you know how that goes afterwards. In the meantime, I will challenge myself by listening to whatever I want without worrying if a random passerby hears it…because that is a real problem I have…sometimes I worry about me. We’re going to get through this.
Okay, so it’s 2 pm… I’m in my pajamas. I have been awake for a while now. The bed is not made. Haven’t eaten, haven’t showered. The make-up that I’m surprised I had enough energy to put on yesterday is still smeared across my face. The apartment isn’t looking too hot either.
One of the reasons I think I have so much trouble getting my shit together is because I am depressed. Well duh.
Depression is an all consuming demon from the deepest pits of hell. Don’t underestimate it. It takes you and turns you into a little useless ball of putty. It robs you of all your energy. It tells you that you can’t do it and that there is no point in trying. You don’t want to do anything, other than tear yourself down even more. You just lay around in your pit of self-loathing, kind of waiting to die…or at least I do.
So, what do we do? Some of the best advice really, is just to “Keep Swimming.” Sometimes I can’t help but roll my eyes when I hear the words morning routine, but honestly routine has power… a lot of power. You are depressed. Why are you depressed? Probably because your shit’s not together.
Let’s face it, we are never going to have the dream lives that we have concocted in our heads if we can’t nail the basics.
I have always been a fan of lists. I love lists. Lists sort of gamify things. I find great satisfaction in marking a task off the list. The longer I make it down the list, the more accomplished I feel. Here is a list I have made for myself. So, without further ado, let the games begin.
- Get out of bed at a decent hour. (If you don’t have work, 8 am is fair, if you do have work get up a little earlier than usual)
- Make bed immediately after getting out of it.
- Drink a glass of water.
- Put on exercise clothes
- Take a short walk or if feeling spiffy a real workout would be great.
- Quick shower
- Coffee and breakfast
- Tidy up home
- Get dressed for the day
- Hair and face
These are basic ass, no-brainer, mundane tasks, but these are important tasks that have to be done. When you are feeling like shit, the last thing you need is to look in the mirror and think Damn, I look like hell. Some fun synonyms to disorganized are confusion, mayhem, madness, turmoil, and my personal favorite, PANDEMONIUM. Clean your house. Keep it clean. Put things back where they go. You will thank yourself later.
This blog is all about getting the shit together. So, what is the first step to getting the shit together? Identifying the said shit. What is this shit you are gathering and why are you gathering it? I have felt like my life has been unraveling for sometime now and I am always saying that I need to get my shit together, but nothing seems to change. I have been thinking about it in the abstract, but I have not clearly laid out my goals. Everyone has different shit to gather in order for them to feel effective or happy about life. Down below I will provide a list of my shit and in later posts will let you know how the gathering is going.
MY LIST OF SHIT:
Make a Difference
Sense of Style
P.S. When you start to gather your shit, make sure that it is your shit that you are gathering and not someone else’s. People like to put their ideals on you and you can begin to question what you want for yourself. When you are imagining what you want your life to be like, do not ask others what they think. This is about you, not them. Self- improvement is about the self. Don’t make changes for others, make them for you.