So, I didn’t shit myself. WOOO I was nervous the whole way there (there being the Improv meet up), but once I got there it went pretty smooth. The instructor of the class was really good. There were several different exercises and everything was pretty fast paced so you really don’t have time to think about being nervous. I actually had a lot of fun and I think I may have just found a new hobby. This just goes to show that you should try new things. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone and you might just find something you really like. I went to this meet up group nervous and wondering if I would shit my pants, but I had a great time and will definitely be doing another one.
Today is the day! I’m so nervous I don’t even want to go. I have been trying to come up with so many reasons not to go, but I’m not going to back out now. I might be dying. The nervous thumps in my chest are just proof of how bad I need to do this. The hardest part is getting started. Comfort Zone Crushers here I come…
30 minutes later
So, I was the first one to arrive at the building. I began looking for other people who might be in the group …luckily I was approached by someone else pretty quickly, so I didn’t have to stand there feeling like an idiot for too long. Eventually we had a sizable group, about 20 people. We stood in a circle, introduced ourselves and then we started. The first challenge was to lie down in a populated area for at least 30 seconds. I live in Stockholm so it’s not hard to find a good place. I laid there for a little while and took some pictures of my feet….I then thought I might could just browse Pinterest or something, but I decided that was too easy, so I started looking people directly in the eyes. I laid there for about 5 minutes total. I got a few looks. Two people asked me if I was okay and this one couple walked by and looked down at me with sheer disgust on their faces, but other than that nothing happened. It was a good challenge and I felt good afterward. The next challenge was to go stare at people through a restaurant window while they ate. Now this group of people I chose to stare at were troopers. They totally knew I was there, but they didn’t even look at me. I was actually a little surprised. However, I could see people behind me in the reflection and they were looking at me funny. There was also a waiter who saw me. The first time he saw me he thought there is a person there, the second time he saw me he thought that person is still standing there how odd, the third time he saw me he thought well damn and he waved. I waved back, started laughing and ran off.
Those were definitely good challenges for me, but the toughest part of it all was the fika afterward.
FIKA: Swedish Tea Time… snack time. Coffee chat with pastries.
Anywho, the hardest part for me was talking to these people that I did the challenges with. You have the three kinds of people. The kind that are in your inner circle so it doesn’t really matter what you do…they still love you, and you have the people that you don’t know at all and will forget about soon after you see them, and then there is that awkward group that you kind of know, but don’t really know and might have to see again later so you are trying real hard not to fuck up. So, yeah. For me, the real challenge was socializing at the fika, definitely something I need to work on.
Overall I got what I wanted out of this challenge. Before I went to this meetup, I was lowering my music volume so my fellow pedestrians wouldn’t judge my taste in music and now I listen to my music loud and proud. I still have a long way to go though.
My next challenge for myself is to … I don’t even want to tell you. If I tell you that means I have to do it. Damn.*Sigh* I found an improv meet-up group. I am getting nauseous just thinking about it. I think that if I can get over myself that I would have a really great time, but I am also highly aware that I may very well shit myself. Wish me luck. I will let you know how it goes.
Introvert just a walkin’ down the street, singin’ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy….who is that person on the sidewalk there? Better turn down my music. God forbid some one hear what I’m listening to. What will they think of me? The world as I know it is ending. Oh Shit! There is another pedestrian…head down, don’t make eye contact…maybe they won’t notice that I am here. You know what they say… introverts make the best ninjas. J/K No one says that. Ah yes, social anxiety at its finest. If you don’t know what I am talking about, thank fucking Christ, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. If you do know what I am talking about, know that you are not alone. I can’t even walk down the damn street without second guessing myself. Houston, we have a problem… Life is hard, but let’s think this through.
I know it’s hard in the moment, but let’s try to keep a few things in mind.
No one gives a fuck
Really, odds are, no one cares…at all. They don’t even notice you anyway…don’t worry about them.
What is the worst that could happen?
It’s not as if your one true love is going to walk by and dis you for your poor taste in music.
So, some weirdo does have something to say about your music…
So what? Big deal. If you walk by and someone judges you for what you are listening to/wearing/whatever…that person is probably not a person you want in your life anyway.
It’s clear we have some irrational fears to work on. Baby steps…baby steps. So, I found this meet-up group called Comfort Zone Crushers that I’m going to try out. It’s supposed to help you get out of your comfort zone, obviously. We will see how that goes. I will let you know how that goes afterwards. In the meantime, I will challenge myself by listening to whatever I want without worrying if a random passerby hears it…because that is a real problem I have…sometimes I worry about me. We’re going to get through this.