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Reciprocity

The word of the week is by far my favorite word and I think I will get it tattooed on me somewhere one day.  The word is :

RECIPROCITY

Reciprocity basically means you scratch my back and I will scratch yours.  What goes around comes around.  The golden rule.  A mutual exchange.  You get the picture.

Honestly, one of the biggest problems in my life is other people not meeting my expectations.  That sounds a little horrible, but you know what, there is nothing wrong with having standards.  I am the kind of person who is willing to massage a friend for an hour so I am pretty fucking bummed when all I get in return is a shitty 5 minutes.  Or when you are really generous in bed and your partner doesn’t even try. So lame.  Or maybe a friend is coming in from out of town…so you take off work and drive 2 hours to the airport to pick them up and take them out for dinner….but when the tables are turned your friend doesn’t make any efforts for you at all and your ass is sitting on a bus.

I love this word because it reminds me that I deserve something in return for my efforts or whatever, but it also reminds me that I also need to make sure that I am doing my part.  Keeping this word in mind keeps me on my A game and helps me make sure I don’t take any crap.  Don’t treat people like doormats and don’t let yourself get treated like a doormat.

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The Importance of Mundane Tasks

Okay, so it’s 2 pm… I’m in my pajamas.  I have been awake for a while now.  The bed is not made.  Haven’t eaten, haven’t showered.  The make-up that I’m surprised I had enough energy to put on yesterday is still smeared across my face.  The apartment isn’t looking too hot either.

One of the reasons I think I have so much trouble getting my shit together is because I am depressed.  Well duh.

Depression is an all consuming demon from the deepest pits of hell.  Don’t underestimate it.  It takes you and turns you into a little useless ball of putty.  It robs you of all your energy.  It tells you that you can’t do it and that there is no point in trying.  You don’t want to do anything, other than tear yourself down even more. You just lay around in your pit of self-loathing, kind of waiting to die…or at least I do.  

So, what do we do?  Some of the best advice really, is just to “Keep Swimming.”  Sometimes I can’t help but roll my eyes when I hear the words morning routine, but honestly routine has power… a lot of power.  You are depressed.  Why are you depressed? Probably because your shit’s not together.

Let’s face it,  we are never going to have the dream lives that we have concocted in our heads if we can’t nail the basics.

I have always been a fan of lists.  I love lists.  Lists sort of gamify things.  I find great satisfaction in marking a task off the list.  The longer I make it down the list, the more accomplished I feel.  Here is a list I have made for myself.   So, without further ado, let the games begin.

  1. Get out of bed at a decent hour. (If you don’t have work, 8 am is fair, if you do have work get up a little earlier than usual)
  2. Make bed immediately after getting out of it.
  3. Drink a glass of water.
  4. Put on exercise clothes
  5. Take a short walk or  if feeling spiffy a real workout would be great.
  6. Quick shower
  7. Coffee and breakfast
  8. Tidy up home
  9. Get dressed for the day
  10. Hair and face

These are basic ass, no-brainer, mundane tasks, but these are important tasks that have to be done.  When you are feeling like shit, the last thing you need is to look in the mirror and think Damn, I look like hell.  Some fun synonyms to disorganized are confusion, mayhem, madness, turmoil, and my personal favorite, PANDEMONIUM.  Clean your house.  Keep it clean.  Put things back where they go.  You will thank yourself later.